Monday, August 31, 2009

Politically Incorrect Joke...

Copied from Ambulances, Boomsticks, Coffee who stole it from Warthog, over at Warthog's Wrants.

Three strangers strike up a conversation in an airport lounge while waiting for their respective flights ...

One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East ..

Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table, tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face, and lights a cigarette. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane has arrived.

Finally, the American Indian clears his throat saying softly, 'At one time my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward,'Once my people were few,' he sneers, 'and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?'

The cowboy removes his cigarette from his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a smooth drawl . .

'I reckon that's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, But I do believe it's a-comin'.'

kthanxbai!

Don't show the wife

The story of Four Horse

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife’s name.

He replied, “She called Four Horse”.

The man said, “That’s an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?”

The Old Indian answered, “It old Indian Name.

It mean….

NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!”

from Bits & Pieces

kthanxbai!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Blogger ain't so bad

I read a few blogs on a daily basis, you can see my blogroll to the right to see exactly whom.

Through these expert, witty and informational Bloggers I have felt that there are a few out there who are not so enamored with Google's Blogger.

Image via Wikipedia

I have had some issues with it myself, namely that I want to change the preview in a feed to all of the blog, and not just the first 250ish digits. And I can't. And their Help Section is rubbish.

On the other hand the main moan I've heard form others is that the timing option - to send out a blog at a specific time and date - doesn't work.
But this weekend it did it for me. Twice.

So I guess I won't be ranting about them this blog.

kthanxbai!

Flutter - the new Twitter

Now that Oprah has named herself the Queen of Twitter, and that nonce from That 70's Show who is going out with Demi Moore was the first to get 1,000,000 followers on Twitter, we are now looking ahead to what the next technology is.

Flutter: The New Twitter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeLZCy-_m3s

Image via CrunchBase

Why the url adn not a fancy YouTube video? Because the buggers wouldn't let me upload the video!! Despite / to spite them go there and have look.

I'm too tired to work around the problem. And too lazy i guess.

kthanxbai!

Wrong. Just plain doggone wrong

Sadly there are extremists in this world. And here are photos of their 'handywork'.

And may The Lord have mercy on their souls.

Camel? You've got a bloody poodle. If you wanted a camel go back to the pet store and ask the googly eyed bloke behind the counter for a camel.

Snail and flowers? What do you think people are going to say to you when you walk down the street - "Nice Garden"?

More likely they'll ask if you've taken your medication today.

See 'Camel' above, but replace the word 'camel' with 'panda'.

You sick bastard.

Wrong.

Oh so very, very wrong.

I'm going to find you and sedate you. Then I'll take your placid body and spray paint ALL of the hairy parts purple, red, yellow and pink.

And then I'll laugh.

More at the link.

kthanxbai!

Friday, August 28, 2009

My Father, The Inglourious Basterd

No Dad, I don't mean you!!

Kim Masters writes about her father and his role in the forefront of the liberation of Europe in the Second World War

Quentin Tarantino's ultra-violent Nazi revenge movie may have plenty of drama but the real story is even better. Kim Masters on the heroic band of Jewish commandos known as X Troop.
My father was an Inglourious Basterd. Actually, he was the opposite of that. But he was a Jewish commando in the British Army during World War II.

And for my father, this fight was very personal. A native of Vienna, he belonged to a secret unit made up of refugees from the Nazis. They went on reconnaissance missions in enemy territory; they stormed the beaches of Normandy on D-Day; they shot at, blew up, captured, and interrogated German soldiers.

They didn’t take scalps or carve swastikas into anybody’s forehead.

Those fanciful elements are present in Inglourious Basterds, Quentin Tarantino’s cartoonish tale of an American death squad made up of Jewish soldiers. Their commander (Brad Pitt) exhorts them to bring him the scalps at least 100 Nazis each. Soon after, the Tarantino violence-porn begins.
There's more at the link.

kthanxbai!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Left hanging

I've seen some bad driving in my time, but this lady takes the biscuit!

Door County authorities are trying to figure out how a motorist ended up near the top of the east arm of the Maple-Oregon Bridge across Sturgeon Bay after the arms of the drawbridge were lifted to a 45-degree angle.

The incident happened about 6 p.m. Thursday, but police didn't learn about it until after news reporters began calling to confirm the authenticity of the photos, Porter said.

"At first we thought someone was just playing around with Photoshop," Porter said. "It really is amazing."

"It appears to be human error," Porter said.

Police said they were hoping that the motorist will contact them.

"She's not in any trouble," Porter said. "We just want to talk to her and find out how this happened so we can make sure that it doesn't happen again."

"I want to ask her what was going through her mind and how hard she had that brake pushed down."

kthanxbai!

I received this in an email today. I've seen it before but wanted to share it here for the few who stop by to read. (And I thank you for doing so). I'm not posting this because of how I feel about the current wars we are in. That's a discussion for another time. I'm posting this because I am more than weary of today's American citizens who don't seem to have the courage or time or desire to stand up for those who have (and who are) served our nation. It's just pitiful. Plain pitiful.

At a time when our president and other politicians tend to apologize for our country`s prior actions, here`s a refresher on how some of our former patriots handled negative comments about our country.

Image via Wikipedia

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaule decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaule said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible.

Rusk responded "does that include those who are buried here?

DeGuale did not respond.

You could have heard a pin drop

When in England , at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.

He answered by saying, 'Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.'

You could have heard a pin drop.

There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break, one of the French engineers came back into the room saying 'Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?'

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?'

You could have heard a pin drop.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. He then asked, 'Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?'

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, 'Maybe it's because the Brit's, Canadians, Aussie's and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.'

You could have heard a pin drop.

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, 'The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France !"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ''Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to."

You could have heard a pin drop

hat tip to Tankerbabelc

kthanxbai!

Monday, August 24, 2009

More about The Move

Amazingly we have survived the move and I am back to 'normal' bloggage.

I just wanted to share with you an exceptionally random event that happened to us before we moved.

Firstly, let me warn you, it was an act of violence.

Mrs Jumblerant, Baby Jumblerant and I were walking to the car to go to the new house to clean it when we saw a man walking his dog. Nothing unusual there.

The dog was wearing a bandanna and I mentioned to Mrs J that I assumed that the owner slept with the dog in the same room. Anyway, he looked like a pleasant guy, picking up his dog's doings after it.

Another chap walked out of the building next to where our car was parked. I recognized the man as a 'non-local'. He looked wary and was not dressed or walking like the locals.

From NOWHERE the chap with the dog walloped the interloper in the face and shouted 'who the hell do you think you are?'. And then he smacked him again 'Get out of here' he screamed and lifted the guy up by the collar and literally kicked him in the pants all the way down the street.

We can only guess what the story was about but having lived in Jerusalem for a total of 17 years neither Mrs J nor I had ever seen something like that on the street in the middle of the day.

I guess we're just happy to be out of there.

kthanxbai!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Cute Kea

Whilst you were having your first cup of coffee this morning I was busy volunteering at my local zoo, in the Australasian House.

The cutest animals are the infant Kea (and yes, that's the plural and singular!). And whats cuter than a baby Kea nibbling at your shoelace?

2 baby Kea nibbling at your shoelace!!

kthanxbai!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Bike dancing - its crazy!

Kunstrad EM 2009 Carla und Henriette Hochdorfer

I can understand break dancing, jive dancing slow dancing even line dancing but bike dancing? Watch and enjoy.

If the video doesn't show in here go to the link: http://damncoolpics.blogspot.com/2009/08/bike-dancing.html

Hat tip to Damn Cool Pics

kthanxbai!

British sniper shot Taliban commander

So a British sniper shot a Taliban commander. Big deal eh? Nothing to it. Lay in wait under a camouflage net for a few hours near the guy's haunts and the enemy will just walk by. Shoot the nasty man and be home in time for tea.

He calculated the range, wind and trajectory before pulling the trigger -
Image via Wikipedia
and the bullet flew 1,853 metres before hitting the target in the chest.

'I have to admit the first round landed next to him. We were so far away that he didn't even realise he was being shot at.
'We changed our aim and when I took into account different factors like the trajectory of the bullet, my gun scope was actually aiming at the top of a doorway.
'I fired and the bullet went off, coming down and hitting him in the chest.
'He dropped straight away into the arms of a fighter behind him. The guy just panicked and dropped the leader and ran away.

Now thats taking the fight to the enemy!

kthanxbai!

Does August have an 'R' in it?

Image via Wikipedia

Bad oyster costs man his legs

No, it wasn't some weird Nemo-esque robbery cum hit, it was just a serious case of eating oysters at the wrong time of the year and sadly getting infected with the virus Vibrio vulnificus.

PANAMA CITY, Fla., Aug. 20 (UPI) -- An Ohio man lost both his legs after contracting an infection from eating oysters while on a wedding trip to Florida.

Poor bugger. Maybe he wasn't supposed to get married in the first place? More of his sad story at the link.

kthanxbai!

Rat for lunch

The Drawn Cutlass drew my attention to this latest find. A Venus-flytrap cousin that is capable of eating anything up to the size fo a rat.
I need to be getting me one of these...

kthanxbai!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Okay, so I lied

Okay, so I lied - does it surprise you?

The last post was titled 'Busy day - oh yeah'. But it turns out that I am in fact doing sweet Fanny Adams! Mrs Jumblerant has taken the noise maker (aka Master Jumblerant) to a cafe round the corner so that he doesn't get in the way. The lads are packing and shlapping boxes full of our stuff down to the lorry.

And I'm just sitting here waiting to move.

$Graphic representation of a minute fraction of...$ Image via Wikipedia

And blogging. Because that's what I do. So to prove my ability at bringing you knew and interesting internet things (and I use that term loosely) here is a picture of the internet.

Actually its a graphic representation of a minute fraction of the World Wide Web, demonstrating hyperlinks.

Who said that Jumblerant wasn't edumacashional??

kthanxbai!

Busy day - oh yeah

Image via Wikipedia

We're moving today. From Jerusalem to Modiin. Its a big move as we've both been living in Jtown for nearly 10 years.

But we have to go. We're living in a 4th floor walk up with 2 bedrooms and quite simply we can't find anything bigger in our price range. So off to Modiin we go to a 3 bedroom, air conditioned, 2 gardened ground floor apartment.

We have friends in both cities so we're not going into the unknown, its just that its new. And as my sister explained to me yesterday, new can be scary.

So blogging might be very light for the next few days until we get the internet sorted in our new pad.

kthanxbai!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Come by, come by

I've made a few changes to the blog layout.

Please come by and leave a thought or two (the more negative the better)

Ta very muchly,

kthanxbai!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pernod genitals indeed

Pernod genitals indeed.

So my third highest key-phrase for this blog is 'pernod genitals'. And yet I don't remember writing that blog - I guess I must be drinking too much.

Image via Wikipedia

kthanxbai!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

White-out won't help here

Ever wondered what those Chinese lettered tattoos really mean? There are a few websites out there who translate these things for inquisitive tattooed individuals.

At Hanzi Smatters some of the questions and answers can be rather interesting:

from: David L.
to: tiangotlost@gmail.com
date: Sun, Jun 14, 2009 at 12:11 PM
subject: tattoo meaning

Hi, I'm called David Lopez.

I'm from Barcelona and I would like to know that it means a tattoo that I did to myself years ago.
I believe that it is Chinese and though I did it for aesthetics, now I am afraid of taking a meaning that I don't want.

My girlfriend and I would have a lot of interest to know the real meaning of my tattoo.

Thank you very much in advance. You will be of great help!

David

賈 means "buy/trade", 路 means "road, path", 卡 means "card".

賈路卡 sounds like a type of prepaid card that allows its owner to access public transportation. Typically it is called ~~乗車券~~ 定期券 (short for 定期乗車券) in Japan and 月票 in China.

Some readers suggested this could be translation of "Jeanluc", but that is not correct. Jeanluc is 吉魯克.

Laugh? I nearly fainted.

kthanxbai!

Woman sets fire to

Greek woman sets fire to drunk Briton's genitals.

Need I say more?

But I will:

Apparently a 26-year old Greek woman has become an overnight national hero after setting fire to the genitals of a 23-year old drunken Briton who allegedly tried to sexually assault her in a crowded bar. Which I guess will make him think twice about doing that again.

The unidentified woman from the fiercely proud island of Crete won herself even more praise by doing the right legal thing – turning herself over to police and the courts to be put on trial for what she claimed was her "right to self-defence".

According to a police statement issued last night the incident occurred at a club in the notorious coastal resort of Malia, which is dominated by young Britons seeking all-night revelry.
Image via Wikipedia

It alleged the Briton took down his trousers and started waving his genitals at a number of girls. He then specifically "forcefully fondled" the 26-year old Greek woman, asking her to take hold of his genitals.

After asking him to stop harassing her, the police said, she poured the alcoholic drink Sabucco on his genitals (an Italian brand type of Greek ouzo or French Pernod drink).

This again allegedly failed to stop his advances, so the woman seized a lighter and set fire to the alcohol-drenched genitals, local press reports said.

I'm not the only one who appreciates her flambe attitude:

A small crowd of bystanders outside the Heraklion hospital applauded and shouted "bravo, bravo", as she was rushed away under police escort.

You go girl!

kthanxbai!

Focus is the key

Those nice men over at Al Qaeda have a message for us brought to us by those lovely people over at CNN:

Al Qaeda's second-in-command has accused President Obama of supporting a Palestinian state that would do the bidding of Israel.

"Obama wants a Palestinian state that works as a branch for the Israeli government," Ayman al-Zawahiri said in a nearly 90-minute video called, "The Realities of Jihad and the Fallacies of Hypocrisy."

"Israel is a crime that needs to be wiped out," said
Image via Wikipedia
al-Zawahiri

Nice

"Obama can come with all the eloquent words he has, but it is nothing but illusions."
He had nothing but scorn for Obama's work. "What new did Obama bring us," he asked. "He brought us the bombing of Gaza where 1,000 martyrs died. He brought us the destruction in Afghanistan, Iraq and Pakistan. What else? He expanded the American prisons so they can absorb more innocent Muslims."

Cheery little bunny isn't he?

kthanxbai!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Resentment

Resentment is the experience of a negative emotion (anger or hatred, for instance) felt as a result of a real or imagined wrong done.

In the new world of downloads and torrents I have been trolling through the contents of different websites that host torrents:

http://isohunt.com/
http://eztv.it/
http://www.xtvi.com
http://www.mininova.org/
http://thebox.bz

So whats the connection?

I was lucky enough to find a new show about an old show, all about different classes and kinds of people throughout the world; "Alan Whicker's Journey of a Lifetime".

Still don't see the connection do you?

Image by fataetoile/ Cinzia Rizzo via Flickr

Whicker mentioned something very insightful after an interview with a multimillionaire, way back in 1952. At the time the interview was very well taken by the British public and, in fact, people felt sorry for the main characters as they seemed to have sad lives, even if they were in a fairy tale existence.

Whicker mentioned that today, in 2009, he felt that those with money would not receive pity from the audience as we have a society of resentment.

Resentment

And that clinches the deal for me. I now understand why people get so mean and childish when it comes to superstars of all kinds. I don't agree with it. I don't like it. But there's a limit.

Journalists following stars (not even superstars!) by car and moped and bike - a la Diana - still occurs and they still get paid by magazines to do it.

And that's because we resent their success, their money and their lives. Sad isn't it?

kthanxbai!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Spooling milkshakes

In the foolhardy hope that the Times Online won't change it's article 'Ridgback armour secrecy deprives British troops of Afghanistan vehicles' once it hits 'spelling' on it's software, here is the link.
And here are the first few lines of the article:

Fifty of the Ridgback vehicles, shown here next to a Snatach (I think they mean Snatch) Land Rover, are due to be delivered later this year.

Secrecy sounding (I think they mean surrounding) the armour on new vehicles destined for British troops in Afghanistan is preventing them from being flown into the conflict zone.

So even though they have used spell checking software they haven't written the article as they originally wanted.

I think it just proves that nothing beats reading it yourself. Slowly.

kthanxbai!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Afghanistan 1st Hand

If you have been wondering about what life is like for troops on the front line in Afghanistan then you need look no further than Michael Yon's excellent blog 'Resurrection'.

Sangin is an active battlefield. To describe missions with other than vague details would present danger to these soldiers and to the next rotation. This is not like the sweep from Kuwait into Iraq, wherein the previous week’s missions were tantamount to ancient history. Here in Sangin it’s a daily brawl over the same terrain and sentiments, morning and night.

A couple minutes after the explosion in the photo above, an Apache flew over to take a look but like so many times, it’s just a mushroom with no known cause. A few days ago, in this area, another RPG was fired at a British helicopter and missed. The area within these photos contains more IEDs than perhaps anywhere else in Afghanistan. The British managed to locate one of the worst places in the country and proceeded to build bases all around.

Some excellent reporting that really should be read by more people. He has archived articles from Iraq and Afghanistan on his website Michael Yon, online magazine.

kthanxbai!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

AW1 Tim commented on a similar post at the Phibian's place -

"Leadership by Example".

Or lack thereof.

This pic is everywhere on the 'Net. But the best commentary with it so far is in an article at

The American Thinker by Thomas Lifson.

Sergeant Crowley, the sole class act in this trio, helps the handicapped Professor Gates down the stairs, while Barack Obama, heedless of the infirmities of his friend and fellow victim of self-defined racial profiling, strides ahead on his own. So who is compassionate? And who is so self-involved and arrogant that he is oblivious?

Shamelessly stolen from Bostonmaggie - it was just the perfect post!

kthanxbai!