The British, The Americans and Syria

Personally I have checked that our gas masks are ready and our sealed room is provisioned.

I still prefer to laugh though, so here is something allegedly written by one of the funniest men alive, John Cleese:

From JOHN CLEESE 

English: John Cleese in May 2008. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

John Cleese as a civil servant in the halls of the Ministry. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,
John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

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Israeli Troops Punished For Dancing In Hebron

I stumbled across this YouTube video of Israeli soldiers dancing in Hebron this afternoon and thought how fun it would be to share it and show the world that at the end of the day, the 2 sides do have a lot in common.

Sadly with my research I found that so many different people have twisted the story into their own little attacked on either side that I feel that I need only give you the footage and you can decide for yourself just how much hatred the 2 sides have for each other:



The Arabic at the bottom translates as 'Israeli soldiers dancing at a wedding a Palestinian in Hebron'.

kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

Why Craig Ferguson is a God

I've liked Craig Ferguson for a long time now, in fact I didn't like him at all when he worked on The Drew Carey show, but his improvisation and stand-up have always been just hilarious.

His 2009 book 'American on Purpose' was very well written and a really good look into his life. It also led me to read his earlier book, 'Between the Bridge and the River' which which I found to be very thought provoking indeed.

So it was with great pride that I stumbled across this clip on YouTube of him explaining why life sucks.

Notice how he 'tags; the camera before talking? That's his little way of reminding himself that he is talking to real people out there, not just a camera.



kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

New TV Series

Hey Honey - I'm home!

We've been out visiting family for the last 5 weeks, sleeping in spare beds and eating local delicacies.

Yup, we're happy to be home, in our own space, with cupboards, our own coffee and yes, our nice big TV in the lounge.

Here are 3 trailers that I'm sure you'll find 'interesting';

I get a little depressed each time great public television like "NOVA," "Frontline" or "PBS NewsHour" are threatened with funding cuts when shows like "The Real House Cats of Chattanooga" or "Survivor 25 1/2: Upstate New York" or "So You Want To Have A Weird Comb-Over" are owning the airwaves.

If we don't support public television, I'm really afraid that we'll just be left with drivel...

kthanxbai! 

Jumblerant

Sexism is Just Not Tolerated Here

The Australian Army shows just how to stop sexism, racism and bullying at the source, in one simple message. I wonder why the UK and USA militaries haven't done the same?

This guy pulls no punches and explains, quite simply and eloquently why bullying must stop. A true leader's speech to his 'men'.



Toodlepips and kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

Father's Day

I loved so hard at this I just knew I had to share it with you.

Happy Father's day!

Enjoy



kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

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Missing Husband

We all shout about the constitutional rights that we have under a democracy in the USA. According to the mass entry Wikipedia here are the rights.

• Right to self-determination
• Right to liberty
• Right to due process of law
• Right to freedom of movement
• Right to freedom of thought
• Right to freedom of religion
• Right to freedom of expression
• Right to peaceably assemble
• Right to freedom of association
• Right to marry

You notice that last one? Its nothing so scary, the right to marry. That's great. Why wouldn't I be allowed to marry who ever I want? Well, if it were a same sex marriage.

I'm not going to open a discussion here about same sex marriage. My beliefs are quite simple - if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone then you should have the right to marry.

Here's a story about a young couple who cannot stay together thanks to US Immigration:



Its this kind of situation that makes me question our Rights altogether.

kthanxbai! Jumblerant

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GoT OMG WTF?

I do like me some Game of Thrones, so much so that I'm tempted to start reading the books. But let's not go too crazy now.

So, recently Game of Thrones made TV history by being the most gosh-darned amazing TV show ever. Well, that's not a technical term, just a feeling. Quite simply they killed off some main characters in one amazing ambush.

The ambush was at a wedding.

We'd just learnt that one of those murdered was pregnant with a future king.

So that was rather.. interesting.

So here, to add to your delectation of all things Game of Thrones is an extremely amusing video made for a 10 year old's birthday party.

Swear words, violence and funky rap are all included.





Toodlepips and kthanxbai!

 Jumblerant

Did You Have A Long Day?

Tired? Get out of bed too early today? Well here is a video that'll make you part of a worldwide prank that was played out over a few months.



Toodlepip and kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

I'm Crying

Well, it's my birthday and I can cry if I want to, cry if I want to...

Whilst working today I was surprised then scared then smiled at the Google logo for today:

What? This wasn't your Google logo today?

What else happened on this momentous day? Courtesy of Mostly Cajun;

1780 – At the Battle of Waxhaws, Lieutenant Colonel Banastre Tarleton massacres Colonel Abraham Buford’s continentals allegedly after the continentals surrender. 113 Americans are killed. Nothing like a good massacre to show how you really feel.

1849 – Lincoln says “You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of people some of time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of time”. The dimmocrat party says “all you gotta do is fool enough to get yourself elected, then screw the rest…”

1864 – Emperor Maximilian of Mexico arrives in Mexico for the first time. He has the full backing of the French government which naturally means he’s a despot, later executed by his own rebellious people.

1886 – Chemist John Pemberton places his first advertisement for Coca-Cola, the ad appearing in the Atlanta Journal.

1942 – Bing Crosby, the Ken Darby Singers and the John Scott Trotter Orchestra record Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas”, the best-selling Christmas album in history, for Decca Records in Los Angeles. Come Christmas time, it’s either this, or “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”.

1953 – Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay are the first people to reach the summit of Mount Everest, on Tenzing Norgay’s (adopted) 39th birthday. Hillary Clinton, born in 1947, is, by her own words, named after Sir Edmund, who was completely unknown in 1947, which means she should be president.

1977 – Janet Guthrie becomes first woman to drive in Indy 500, completes first ten laps while applying mascara.

1987 – Michael Jackson attempts to buy Elephant Man’s remains, offering a slightly used Cub Scout troop and an undisclosed amount of cash.

Anyway, back to the birthday cake, candles and mountain of gifts!

Toodlepips  and kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

A Few Funnies

I found these on my computer today and thought I'd share them before filing thme away somewhere and not seeing them again until 2074!

kthanxbai!

Jumblerant

Car Crashing Video ~ Real or Fake?

This video is just a little bit too crazy to not be staged, but on the other hand, its stuck in the middle of nowhere not being pushed or promoted so maybe it is real?

What do you think?



kthanxbai!
http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

Thanks Guys!

Thanks for the support over the last few years. I wouldn't have been able to reach 100,000 page views without you.

kthanxbai!

 http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

Zach Sobiech - May 3, 1995 – May 20, 2013

You should watch this video.

It shows a true super-hero, a man who looks death in the face and says 'bring it on sucker'.



Fair seas and following seas young man, you have left an amazing, timeless, legacy.

kthanxbai!

http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

Take The Star Road

I'm so happy to see so many bloggers I follow become published authors.

First it was Larry Correia with the Monster Hunter series.

Then it was Marko Kloos with Terms of Enlistment

And now Peter, the most prolific and entertaining blogger I know - Take The Star Road

Good luck with the new book Peter!

Find Out More Here...

kthanxbai!

http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

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Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Will Ferrell is so funny, he makes me hurt my ribs laughing sometimes. This teaser trailer for Anchorman 2 is one such time.

Enjoy ~



And as the man says - "You Stay Classy".

kthanxbai!

http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

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Nick Searcy, Oscar Winning Performance

Nick Searcy is an international movie and TV star, but you knew that.

You might know him from Justified, Fried Green Tomatoes, CSI, The West Wing and From The Earth to the Moon. 

Heck, he is such a good actor he even had a role in Cast Away, and considering that it was a film of a man on a deserted island, you know he has to be good to get in on that action.

From 1982 to 1989, Searcy lived in New York where he did Off-Broadway plays. Some of these included Guys and Dolls, Cabaret and Jesus Christ Superstar. When he moved back to North Carolina, he began to act in features that were shooting locally. Small parts in Days of Thunder (1990) and The Prince of Tides led to the role of the malicious Frank in Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

Searcy has appeared in several television series. He had a recurring role as Brett on Thunder Alley, was a series regular on American Gothic and guest starred on Murder One and Nash Bridges with Don Johnson. He was a regular character on the series Seven Days from 1998 to 2001, and played Barry Martin on the ABC series Rodney, from 2004 to 2006. He has also starred in several TV movies, but I don't think we need to go into that much detail.

Nick is not just an amazing actor, he is also an extremely funny man.

Recently he has written, produced, starred in and directed a series called 'Acting School' an exceptionally tongue in cheek look at a TV star's life and 'method' in his art.

Enjoy them, I know that I did!

Episode 10 / 10

kthanxbai!

http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

Game of Thrones - Your Imagination

I have many faults. I'm the first to admit it . It's that I'm 'too handsome' or 'too clever', no, I just get annoyed at stupid people.

My main issue with stupid people is when they quote me lines from a movie, and yes, the movie was excellent but guess what - pillock - you didn't write the move, you just watched it.

A prime example is last week at the office, a part-time employee who sits at a desk near me came by and said to me 'wheres the fish?'. I looked at him as if he had just been at the markers in the board room.

Turns out, the muppet had been watching Monty Python over the weekend and thought that line to be the weirdest one ever. That wasn't even the part that embarrassed me, as it further transpires that he had never even bothered to watch the Monty Python TV show, which most people regard as their best work.

Silly man!

 And then there are the people that think that because they have seen the film they can't now read the book, or alternatively, instead of reading the book, they'll just watch the film.

THE BOOK IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE FILM.

Always.

Anyway, I'm off for a can of spam and a wafer thin mint in a minute but before that, here is someone else's rant about books and TV shows. In song form.




kthanxbai!

 http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

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Harlem Shake - On Fire!

Further to my rather deep post about The Harlem Shake, below is a fine example of what happens when you don't take the proper precautions.



Be safe out there kids!

Hat tip - Bayou Renaissance Man

kthanxbai!

http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

Will The Media Show You This Photo?

Having worked alongside some fine men in the military and police in Israel, and other countries. I can assure you that this border policeman is using the utmost control that you can imagine.

But I guess this photo isn't worth publishing:

Let's break it down a bit further;

The policeman is armed, probably with a standard M16A2, also, almost definitely with a magazine in already, although as he is not wearing a helmet, I assume that he does not have a round up the chamber. He is not even touching his weapon.

Now let's see how many members of the 'International Press' are in this image, discounting the one who took the photo;

At least five that I can see.

So this policeman is having the following done to him that any law enforcement agent I know would arrest someone for:

1. Someone in his face, not keeping a respectful distance
2. Touching him, whilst not illegal, is exceptionally close to 'assaulting an officer'
3. Initiating a fight with a law enforcement agent. This man holding the flag doesn't look to me, that his purpose is to give the nice officer a hug. 'Incitement'

With at least 6 members of the international press present, the photo and video footage of this policeman showing exceptional restraint doesn't get any air time. I guess he just needs to follow the stereotypical image of an Israeli thug and needs to bash this man around the head to get his 15 minutes of fame.

I can promise you that if the man holding the flag were to do what he is doing to an American or British policeman he would already have been laid out flat on the floor with the 'bracelets' being put on his wrists.

I guess the truth just hurts too much...

kthanxbai!

 http://jumblerant.blogspot.com

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