Sunday, January 31, 2010

Lady QI Gaga

Just as soon as you thought things were back to normal over here at Jumblerant here is what is going on inside my little head:

The Contestants Turn on Stephen Fry at QI

And of course, Lady Gaga's video to her very popular single Poker Face. With Christopher Walken.

And Cartman from South Park (just in case it started making sense!)


Saturday, January 30, 2010

Friday, January 29, 2010

Muslims demand withdrawal of rifle sights with Biblical references

An article last week in The National Post discussed the outrage felt by many Muslims after it was announced that many soldeirs in iraq and Afghanistan have been using telescopic sights with biblical references etched into them.

Muslim groups reacted angrily yesterday after it emerged that the U.S. military in Iraq and Afghanistan were using rifle sights inscribed with coded Biblical references. Michigan-based contractor Trijicon has sold up to 800,000 of the sights to the U.S. military that were being used in combat. A statement posted on the Trijicon web-site said: "As part of our faith and our belief in service to our country, Trijicon has put scripture references on our products for more than two decades." According to ABC, one of the citations on the gunsights, 2COR4:6, is an apparent reference to Second Corinthians 4:6 of the New Testament. The passage reads: "For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ." The Muslim Public Affairs Council called on U.S. Defense Secretary Robert Gates to immediately withdraw the sights.

Muslims demand withdrawal of rifle sights with Biblical references, Jan 21

Personally I find it very similar to what support guys used to write on their bombs 'To Hitler with Love' or tankers wrote on their rides in WWII, or even what badges and pins soldiers wore in the field in 'Nam.

What gets me isn't the outrage shown by however many Muslim councils or spokespersons but the fact that some armchair warming committee member has decided what troops, in constant danger for their lives, can have written on their equipment.

You want them to not have biblical references on their person? Provide them with equipment with better motifs - I understand that the American Flag is going down quite well with the troops these days.


123456, password & abc123

Yup, they've caught up with your wily ways. Finally they've have been able to work out just what your password is, well, what the average password is anyway:

Amichai Shulman is the chief technology officer at Imperva, which makes software for thwarting hackers. Recently, he undertook a study of 32 million passwords stolen by an unknown hacker from Rockyou!, an online service that makes widgets for social networking sites like Facebook.

The list is depressing testimony to our collective lack of creativity in the arena of personal security.

“I guess it’s just a flaw in human genetics,” Shulman told the New York Times.

Personally I use an amalgam of my age, the year, my phone number, my sister's name (she has 5) and the postcode for my last abode.

Most people aren't so 'cautious' and use some very obvious passwords. Here are the top 20 in order of popularity:

1. 123456

2. 12345

3. 123456789

4. password

5. iloveyou

6. princess

7. rockyou

8. 1234567

9. 12345678

10. abc123

11. nicole

12. daniel

13. babygirl

14. monkey

15. jessica

16. lovely

17. michael

18. ashley

19. 654321

20. qwerty

If your password is in the above, I suggest you change it. Now!!


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Venn vill I be famous?

The Venn Diagram is making a comeback.

Edwards' Venn diagram of six setsImage via Wikipedia

As we all know, Venn diagrams are diagrams that show all hypothetically possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets (groups of things).

Venn diagrams were conceived around 1880 by John Venn. They are used to teach elementary set theory, as well as illustrate simple set relationships in probability, logic, statistics, linguistics and computer science. *

As the above image shows, these diagrams can be very complicated and intricate.

Or they can be as simple as siblings' children;

Over at they regularly use Venn diagrams to get laughs at our everyday nonsense that we go through as humans. I prefer to use Mr. Venn's amazing creation to explain, in an easy and efficient manner, just how my life works;
Available on Twitter - @jumblerant

More Venn diagram buffoonery can be found at mental_floss's blog 'Miss Cellania's Files'.


* thanks to Mrs. Wiki and Mrs. Pedia

The Heavens Opened and God Smiled…

Brazenly stolen from the amazing CrankyLitProf over at Cranky Epistles.

And may the Lord have mercy on our souls....

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper.”

– Benjamin Franklin


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Carpet is expensive

As a kid growing up in Trumpton and Chigley, my sister and I used to visit our friends on a Saturday afternoon and get bored with all the board games within minutes.

As most Saturdays in the UK in the '80s were rainy we had to stay indoors. How can you turn a boring TV room into a great game? Crocodile infested carpets!! Great fun until you break a leg. Or a sofa.

But this guy is taking it too far.


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Team Rubicon part deux

Team Rubicon keep going from strength to strength and you can follow their Haiti aid and assist goal here, here and here.

Products created to pay for Team Rubicon's supplies and air fares can be found here at CafePress or you can do what I did which is wear a regular t-shirt, know in your heart that you are helping, and send them the cash directly to their PayPal account. Just saying...

The above is a photo taken by the Team last night, of supplies just sitting at the airport.

As Haiti falls from the headlines we should not forget that Team Rubicon are still there helping the wounded and the scarred and scared.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Team Rubicon

We've all heard of the horrifying earthquakes in Haiti and the rather pathetic and quite unacceptable physical response from around the world.

According to most accounts I have read there is a large quantity of supplies stuck at the airport. Planes loaded with more assistance are being turned away for goodness knows what reasons.

And as a result people are dying.

What did you do about it? Probably the same as I, read some more news articles, forward some e-mails, maybe even donate $25 to a reliable charity and move on to the next article.

Not everyone is like us.

Jake Wood was a Marine Sniper in Afghanistan. He left the service and was kicking back and enjoying his life after a very stressful few years. When he heard about the earthquake he also felt bad and wanted to help. Except being a Marine and therefore medically trained to a certain level, he decided to head down there and help. But why go alone? He gathered some friends and other volunteers and traveled down there on their own dime.

Team Rubicon member Dr David Griswell, like yesterday, becomes the lead physician in the outdoor General Hospital. "It's a disaster. There is no drinking water

The team don't just serve as a first responder for injuries but they also help move power lines, inspect damaged buildings such as hospitals and gathering points and they also have to keep themselves, and others from wasting energy asking why such numb-skulls are visiting at a time when they're body weight in water or gauze pads or antibiotics would better serve the people.

With no structural engineer available, Team Rubicon Firefighters Jeff Lang and Craig Parello conduct the initial structural damage assessment on the General Hospital after the 6.1 quake this morning.

You knew this asshole was going to show up. (direct quote!)

Team Rubicon member Dr. Dolhun inspects a 4 hour old baby born in the street outside the General Hospital.
Go to the website, read the blogs, follow them on Twitter and donate. Whatever you do, please pass this on!


Something for when you are bored

When you have a few minutes to kill I suggest you look up the website below. You simply put in an address and you see an actual photo of the place. On the side there is a little blue man who you can move around to get different views of the street.

Above is VPIKE's view of my sister's house. And her car in the drive.

And if you recognize this house please leave me a note in the comments...

A very interesting little software. Invasive of your privacy? I suggest you go and check it out. Oh, and it's as addictive as crack cocaine with nicotine added.

VPIKE - be ready to lose the next few hours.


T-shirt spelling mistake

And no, I make no money off the sale of this particular shirt.

lolmart shirts, kthxbai
see more Lolcats and funny pictures


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Hudson River landing amalgam

This video has been doing the rounds of twitter and the blogosphere after Captain Sullenberger was voted one of the top personalities of the decade. Normally I wouldn't care too much but it really made me realise just what an amazing, and speedy incident it was.


Monday, January 18, 2010

UNacceptable, UNimpressed and now UNderfunded

The most calm and collected country in existance is probably Holland but Canada comes a close second.

UNRWA LogoImage via Wikipedia

It therefore behooves me to mention that there must be something seriously fudged up at UNWRA (United Nations Refugee Works Agency) which administers 59 refugee camps for Palestinian Arab refugees and their descendants who left their homes in the wake of the 1948 war.

UNRWA maintains Palestinian Arab refugees in their facilities under the premise and promise of return to homes and villages from 1948 that no longer exist.

So what is the matter here then? Seems like a perfectly normal United Nations way of wasting money.

Canada has not only stopped paying into, but has actually withdrawn funds from UNWRA because it has been documented that Hamas terrorists have been chosen by the UNRWA labor union to actually administer UNRWA facilities.

Yes, it actually takes a report commissioned by the European Parliament to get people to notice whats happening in UNWRA. So why has only Canada left UNWRA and no-one who actually has a seat at the European Parliament? I don't know either!!

Here is the original article in The Bulletin, Philadelphia's Family Newspaper.


Sunday, January 17, 2010

I heart Walmart

I miss Walmart. Whenever I used to travel to the USA I used to Mapquest how far my hotels (Fairfield Inns, anyway) were from the nearest Walmart and spend my free weekends going to 2 or 3 of them.

Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market in Winter Springs...Image via Wikipedia

Really, you can get everything there. I loved the idea that not only could you buy great snacks and drinks but also handguns, ammunition and caravans!

Those crazy kooks over at have created a Walmart Rap, an ode if you will, to the variety and greatness* that is the Walmart.

*please be advised that this high level of sarcasm can only be used safely by an Englishman with a highly elitist secondary education. This blog contains no peanuts or peanut derivatives.


The kids of today

So whats it all about? Where are we going adn what are we leaving our children and our children's children?

According to Tom Brokaw we are seeing the end of the 'Greatest Generation'. Surviving fighters of the Second World War, as well as Holocaust Survivors are dying off and we are left, at best, with video interviews and autobiographies. So where are we, the children of the children?

I hadn't given it much thought until I saw this video, and I suggest that you too watch it to the end:

Hat tip to Old Plod


Saturday, January 16, 2010

Tiger's Transgressions

Do you have what it takes to be a top class golfer? Can you keep your cool under pressure? Do you want to be the next Tiger Woods?

President Barack Obama greets professional gol...Image via Wikipedia

Have a go at the game here, I think you'll enjoy it. (And I don't even like golf!)

Hat tip to Throw The Ball Already


Friday, January 15, 2010

Incredible Climber

Incredible Climber over at Now Thats Nifty. Mind boggling in fact. SAdly, being an incompetent buffoon, I am unable to import the video here so you don't really have an option but to visit Now That's Nifty to see it.

Nat makes her way up Balthazar (12) in the Bou...Image via Wikipedia

If you think its a fake then can tell me how it's done?


Thursday, January 14, 2010

TSA agents, security and safe landings

I used to be a traveling salesman for a hi-tech firm. Pre 9/11 (therefore pre-TSA)I flew throughout the USA and Europe spending an average of 2 weeks abroad a month. So yeah, I know a thing or two about airport security.

Hand-luggage inspection machine at an airport.Image via Wikipedia

I was still a smoker when I was a salesman and every time I went through security in the USA with a coffee in my hand, having just had a smoke outside, I'd set off the alarm bells. Apparently nicotine and caffeine were a potent mix.

Sadly it appears to me that in the decade (oy vey!) since then security has really not improved much.

I recently read an article over at HillBuzz about mixing death threats, attempted mass murder and liberalism together creating a weird outcome.

Here is a snippet from the article:

Riding the Orange Line to Midway or the Blue Line to O’Hare we run into plenty of TSA agents, whether we are going to the actual airports or not. Most of these people are circus clowns. They’re very young, sloppy, completely unprofessional in public, and couldn’t care less about how they’re seen behaving in their uniforms. 90% of the ones we see in TSA uniforms are black.

It sure feels like there is a very high minority hiring push for TSA agents — and that the standards for the jobs are very, very low. The pay, from what we hear, however, is very good, especially in this economy.

And the article concludes:

Increasingly, we believe we need Israelis to come in and restructure the TSA, weed out the bad and lazy apples, and give the entire outfit’s professionalism a serious upgrade, Liberals be damned.
Go here, or here, or here to read the original article. Comments in the comments area - as if I need to tell you!!


I gone bin and dun it

I made good on my promise yesterday of getting more exercise.

Bat Mobile. Special Presentation of Cars Used ...Image via Wikipedia

Not only did I get up early - or as we used to say in the military "at the crack of sparrow's fart" - and drove off into the misty valleys that surround our home.

I dropped the car off at the garage after I'd been informed that the 200,000km service it was going in for would cost around $350. I then made myself a steaming cup of Turkish coffee, walked out of the garage, turned right and started my walk to the office.

Then I realized that going left actually made more sense, turned around and started walking that way instead.

On my little walk I listened to a podcast which had me laughing so hard that I had stop walking at some point to catch my breath. Answer Me This is a great weekly show that combines audience participation, standard jokes and general nonsense but be warned, strong language is rife. But it is sooooo funny.

I walked and walked and enjoyed the sun, the diesel fumes and the looks on people's faces as I cracked up laughing. All good fun.

When I got to the office I was hot and sweaty. Lucky for me 'the office' is in fact a volunteer job in a charity's main warehouse so everyone else there was sweaty too. I started heaving boxes and putting orders together and pretty soon I was up to 11,000 paces on my pedometer (it measures paces, not the location of pedophiles).

Another couple of hours passed and I was up to 15,000 paces.

By the end of my work day I was up to 22,000 paces, over twice the daily recommended exercise for an adult.

So I walked back to the garage to pick up the car where I was informed that the service cost twice what they said it would.

I smiled, nodded and looked at my pedometer - 31,000 paces.

Its good to realize what is important these days.


Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Between friends

So what is 10kg?

98.0 newtons

50000 carats

352.74 ounces


7716 scruples troy

10 liters of water

My baby boy, Jack

In fact it was this afternoon in the local mall that I had an epiphany. Actually, it was backache but I'll call it an epiphany for now.

Mrs J and I had a late breakfast / early lunch at the mall whilst waiting to meet up with the Sister-in-law. I decided to go and see my friend and barber Moody who works on the same floor as the cafe we were eating in. To give Mrs J a bit of time to eat her breakfast I said I'd take Jack along with me.

So far very simple. Taking a 10 month old baby to see my friend 150 meters away. When I got there I was knackered (or cream-crackered if your from Essex). I'm used to working in a warehouse moving heavy boxes around but this was just pain-pain-pain!

As I struggled back to Mrs J with Jack on my shoulder I realized what my issue was. Its not that I'm overweight, which I am, or that I am unfit, which I really am, but rather that I now understood physically what my body was feeling already being at least 10kg overweight.

Carrying Jack had instantly added the 10kg in one go to the 10kg I have slowly been adding to my body over the last few years.

I finally understood what I was putting my joints, my heart and my muscles through every time I started doing something.

Normally at this point I'd just use it as an excuse to never leave the couch but I feel now that I really have to either turn this blubber into muscle or get rid of it.

From now on I'm going to try harder, push further and really try to lose the weight. I'm starting with trying to get 10,000 paces every day. You can follow my alleged progress on the Walker Tracker widget near the top of the blog.

All words of encouragement warmly welcomed as are any hints and tips you may have.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

He got talent - oh yeah!

Juggling is a talent.

Urban gymnastics is a talent.

Some might even call doing heads-over-heels on a treadmill a talent.

Mix them all together, add a few swords, flips and chairs et voila: The World's Most Talented Man


Saturday, January 9, 2010

Formula 1 in a nutshell

If you are interested in Formula 1 (open wheeled car racing) and whatever news those cheeky little monkeys are creating look no further than F1 Minute.

Felipe Massa. Formula 1Image by .:fotomaf:. via Flickr

Created by the geniuses behind Sidepodcast this daily podcast, made by Christine, talks about the most interesting Formula 1 news of the day - but in just one minute.

For a great example of what you'll find over at F1 Minute here is their first F1 Minute video from 4th January.


Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Fat Trap

My parents are vegetarian.

There I've said it. I've outed my self.

There are many downsides to having vegetarian parents. Nut-roast is one of them. Tuna casserole are two more. When your kids cheer when it's Tony the Tiger's Frosted Flakes for supper do you not understand that they are underprivileged?

Grilled salmon is a healthy and tasty meal to eat once in a while, just not every Friday night.

For 6 years.

Now, as a father myself, I realize just how my parents trod a fine line between a healthy lifestyle choice and screwing me up for ever more. A very fine line.

So what brought this up? I was cleaning the barbecue and realized that there was a mold filled drawer accessible from the back. I believe it's called a 'Fat Trap'. What should I do with it? How often should I empty it? Where do I put the contents? Answers on a postcard please - or in the comments.