Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I Do Not Have Clinophobia

Yes, it is true, I do not have Clinophobia, the fear of going to bed. In fact I very much have the opposite, a strong desire to go to bed. Often.


I also do not have:



Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school

Enosiophobia or Enissophobia- Fear of having committed an unpardonable sin or of criticism
Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture
Geumophobia- Fear of taste
Homichlophobia- Fear of fog
Iophobia- Fear of poison
Judeophobia- Fear of Jews
Kymophobia- Fear of waves
Lockiophobia- Fear of childbirth
Microphobia- Fear of small things


But there doesn't seem to be a cute little word for my greatest fear, but now there is a video:


Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
And pictures: Yes, my fear is of having an airplane crash whilst parachuting. What's your greatest fear? Answers in the comments please kthanxbai! Jumblerant
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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

I'm A Winner, Seriously!

Remember me telling you all about Larry Correia's new book back in October 2010? Or, more recently, about Monster Hunter Legion - Limited Signed Edition last month?

Well, then you'll understand why I am over the moon to hear that I am the winner of the Monster Hunter International prize mega package. I'm just blown away.Signed books, a poster and hopefully - and this is priceless - my name in Larry Correia's next book.


And The Winners Are...



The weird thing is that I am a tad cash strapped at the moment, what with having a 3 year old, a 1 year old and a wife at home - and no chance of a promotion or pay raise any time in the near future. So when I read of Jay's plan of raising money for a prostate cancer charity I thought 'nice idea, but I gave at the (tax) office'.

JayG convincing people to sponsor him 

And then I remembered Jason Boas. A friend of mine from high school. We'd gone our separate ways after graduation but I'd been in touch with him here and there over the years and then in the last few months of his life he came to a hospice in my area for care. We were going to meet up but he was just too weak to even chat on the phone sometimes.Sadly, as I reported back then, Jason died in November 2008.

Its nearly November now, and I remember Jason at this time of year so I thought 'heck, I'll donate to this charity and even when I don't win, I'll feel happy about doing it'.

So I'm triply happy; to be able to give to a great charity, to win the mega prize and to be able to remember Jason and pass on to others the message of his charity - 'No Surrender'.

kthanxbai!

 http://jumblerant.blogspot.com
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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Coffee... mmmmm

I recently went 36 hours without coffee. I managed to sleep properly, nap in the afternoon and generally was a happier chap. When I was awake, that is.

And I got a stinking headache. Which, after my last post about smoking, makes me think that I'm a bit of an addict!

Here is some very interesting info about coffee;











kthanxbai!
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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Old joke, new twist

 As you may have realised by now I am slightly bitter, and more than a little bit twisted.

That probably explains why I laughed so hard when I saw the joke below.


Enjoy!!



Hats off to his amazingness the Wirecutter over at Knuckledraggin My Life Away

kthanxbai!

Saturday, May 1, 2010

No Free Lunch

I unashamedly stole this, verbatim, from the excellent, and highly recommended blog The Sandgram

Got this from a friend of mine whose son is about to become a 2ndLt in the Marines.  John, thanks for the piece, I tend to stay away from politics, but this is too good!!
I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the successful passing of the recent health care bill.

Public domain image from cancer.gov http://vis...The West Wing CastGLENSIDE, PA - MARCH 08:  President Barack Oba...

I could not finish my breakfast.
This is what ensued:

They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes.
I heard the young man exclaim, “Isn’t Obama like Jesus Christ?
I mean, after all, he is healing the sick”.
The young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, “Yeah, and he does it for free.
I cannot believe anyone would think that a free market would work for health care.
They are all crooks and thieves and don’t deserve all of that money.”
Another said, ‘The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so they can inherit all of the power.
Obama should be made a saint for what he did for those of us less fortunate.”
At this, I had had enough.

I arose from my seat, mustering all the restraint I could find, and approached their table.
“Please excuse me; may I impose upon you for one moment?
”They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation.
Perfect Breakfast?I stood at the end of their table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.

“I would like to give one of you my house.
It will cost you no money and I will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live there.
Anyone interested?” They looked at each other in astonishment.
“Why would you do something like that?” asked a young man, “There isn’t anything for free in this world”.
They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just made my point.
“I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money what so ever. Anyone interested?”
In unison, a resounding” Hell Yeah” fills the room.

“Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to who receives this money free bargain.”
I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle unfolding before their eyes, the old man shaking
his head in apparent disgust.
“I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey my rules.”
Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on their faces.
The perky young woman asked, “What are the rules?” I smiled and said, “I don’t know.
I have not yet defined them.
However, it is a free home that I offer you.”
They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, “What an old coot.
He must be crazy to give away his home.
Go take your meds, old man.”
I smiled and leaned into the table a bit further.
I am serious, this is a legitimate offer.
They gaped at me for a moment.

Hell, I’ll take it you old fool.
Where are the keys?” boasted the youngest among them.
Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then? I asked.
The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from the privacy of their table.
“Oh hell yeah! Where do I sign up?”
I took a napkin and wrote, “I give this man my home, without the burden of financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms that I shall set forth upon consummation of this transaction.”
I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out his signature.
“Where are the keys to my new house?” he asked in a mocking tone of voice.
All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the keys from pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.

Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all of your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated to adhere from this point forward.
You may only live in the house for one hour a day.
You will not use anything inside of the home.
You will obey me without question or resistance.
I expect complete loyalty and admiration for this gift I bestow upon you.
You will accept my commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the nature.
Your morals and principles shall be as mine.
You will vote as I do, think as I do and do it with blind faith.
These are my terms.
Here are your keys.” I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumb founded.

Are you out of your freaking mind? Who would ever agree to those ridiculous terms?” the young man appeared irritated. You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding it and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only after you committed to the agreement.
Was all I said. The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him.
I was looking at a now silenced and bewildered group of people.
You can shove that stupid deal up you’re a** old man, I want no part of it exclaimed the now infuriated young man.
You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your friends; you cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it.
I do not intend to let you free now that I have you ensnared.
I am the power you agreed to.
I am the one you blindly and without thought chose to enslave yourself to.
In short, I am your Master. At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group against the unfairness of the deal.

After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my true intent.
What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you with the health care legislation.
I easily suckered you in and then revealed the real cost of the bargain.
Your folly was in the belief that you can have something you did not earn; that you are entitled to that which you did not earn; that you willingly allowed someone else to think for you.
Your failure to research, study and inform yourself permitted reason to escape you.
You have entered into a trap from which you cannot flee.
Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives it unto you.
A freedom that is given can also be taken away; therefore, it is not freedom.
With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished young man.
This is the nature of your new health care legislation.”

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation and was surprised by applause.
The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand enthusiastically and said, Thank you Sir, these kids don’t understand Liberty these days.
He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, You earned this one, it is an honor to pickup the tab.
I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled, and sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.

kthanxbai!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Four White Cops, One Angry Black Man

Sounds like a joke or a beginning of a cheesy detective novel?

Its actually another great blog from His Eminence the Ambulance Driver over at his blog, A Day In The Life Of An Ambulance Driver:

  
Four White Cops, One Angry Black Man

 … and the angry black man was high on drugs and emotionally despondent over the inability to kick his addiction.
 And the incident ended not with gunfire, or with the black man writhing on the ground at the end of a Taser, but with the angry black man walking to the ambulance and climbing aboard, of his own free will. The EMTs bandaged the man’s lacerated wrists as he sobbed brokenly, and the cops quietly assured him that they were there to help, not arrest, and that they’d do whatever it took to get the angry black man the help he needed.

And when the angry black man thanked one of the white cops for treating him like a man and a fellow human being, and begged him to accompany him to the hospital, the white cop promised that he’d follow right behind the ambulance, and he’d be there with him in the ER as he went through what was undoubtedly a very frightening time for the angry black man.
 He delivered on his promise, too.
  
That’s how the majority of these encounters go, you know. Doesn’t matter if the cops are white and the angry man is black, or vice versa. With a little compassion and a lot of communication, the vast majority of such incidents end without harm or bloodshed. I see them play out this way every day.

 I tell you this story not because it is unusual, but because it isn’t.

 You know, just in case you got the opposite impression from what you always see in the news.

Having seen this exact situation pan out time and time again I thought I'd spread the word.

kthanxbai!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Between friends

So what is 10kg?

98.0 newtons

50000 carats

352.74 ounces

22lbs

7716 scruples troy

10 liters of water

My baby boy, Jack

In fact it was this afternoon in the local mall that I had an epiphany. Actually, it was backache but I'll call it an epiphany for now.

Mrs J and I had a late breakfast / early lunch at the mall whilst waiting to meet up with the Sister-in-law. I decided to go and see my friend and barber Moody who works on the same floor as the cafe we were eating in. To give Mrs J a bit of time to eat her breakfast I said I'd take Jack along with me.

So far very simple. Taking a 10 month old baby to see my friend 150 meters away. When I got there I was knackered (or cream-crackered if your from Essex). I'm used to working in a warehouse moving heavy boxes around but this was just pain-pain-pain!

As I struggled back to Mrs J with Jack on my shoulder I realized what my issue was. Its not that I'm overweight, which I am, or that I am unfit, which I really am, but rather that I now understood physically what my body was feeling already being at least 10kg overweight.

Carrying Jack had instantly added the 10kg in one go to the 10kg I have slowly been adding to my body over the last few years.

I finally understood what I was putting my joints, my heart and my muscles through every time I started doing something.

Normally at this point I'd just use it as an excuse to never leave the couch but I feel now that I really have to either turn this blubber into muscle or get rid of it.

From now on I'm going to try harder, push further and really try to lose the weight. I'm starting with trying to get 10,000 paces every day. You can follow my alleged progress on the Walker Tracker widget near the top of the blog.

All words of encouragement warmly welcomed as are any hints and tips you may have.


kthanxbai!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Year's Eve

Personally I never want to see another car crash for the rest of my life but, well, these things happen. At this time of year when the weather in most countries is wet and icy please take care.

As the Happy Season comes to an end and people have one last 'booze-up' with their pals please stay safe out there - just because you're sober doesn't mean the other drivers are.

20 years of Christmas anti-drinking campaigns combined to make this one. Watch it and pass it along.



kthanxbai!


Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I beat my wife to get healthy

My sister and I are fighters.

As kids, whenever someone attacked either of us we would back each other to the hilt. When there was no-one else to battle we fought amongst ourselves, also, in a very energetic way. Its only my sister and I, although we did have a dog for a good many years, we are very close and there are many similarities between us (my sister and I, not the dog and I).

In fact when my sister and I chat to each other, even in front of our parents, we speak so fast and in such an Essex accent that no-one can understand us.

We also have something else in common - obesity. I haven't seen my sister in a few months but I do know that we are both on the heavy side.

She has 7 kids and a husband to clean up after, runs a community center and helps out at a variety of charities as often as she can. This leaves her very little time to look after herself.

Me? I like eating chocolate and have an aversion to sport.

Back in April I started using my trusty pedometer, in fact its the Omron Walking Style II (below) and I recommend it to everyone.
A pedometer measures the amount of steps you take whilst wearing it. Different health organisations agree that taking over 10,000 steps a day is highly beneficial to your health. My sister has yet to purchase a pedometer but hopefully after this little blog she will do so.

Mrs. Jumblerant recently bought a pedometer, exactly the same as mine, and challenged me to an interesting competition. Whoever has the most paces at the end of each day gets to stay in bed in the morning when our 8 month old baby boy wakes up! My kind of challenge.

In the last 3 days I have beaten her 3 times.

To add to the fun I also picked up on a challenge by fellow blogger Treppenwitz to his readers to log their steps, for free, at Walker Tracker. I have a rather green widget near the top of this blog if you want to go there and have a look.


Anyway, its a no frills competition normally. I even started 2 competitions this month in an effort to get back into walking myself thin. The winner gets bragging rights or something of an equal value, but it means that there are people out there helping you to walk more paces, push a bit harder and get a little bit healthier each day.

And that can't be a bad thing.

kthanxbai!

Monday, October 26, 2009

What a day!

On Saturday night we received the sad news that a friend of ours had passed away. She was in her late 30's and had been fighting cancer for a year and a half and we already knew that on Friday she'd been taken to hospital where they could help her with the pain.

As is the custom in Judaism she was buried as early as possible, this happened to be Sunday morning.

The saddest part of the whole thing, as if funerals weren't sad anyway, is that her 9 year old daughter was there. The daughter was obviously having a hard time but was being bolstered by the fact that there were over 200 people there, most of whom she recognized.

And then there was the service.

As the 9 year old came to see her mother she screamed and ran off. Her father followed her and slowly managed to cajole her back to the front of the congregation.

Our late friend's brother, sister and father spoke. If we weren't all in tears by then the bravery and maturity of her 9 year old daughter brought a salty drop to our eyes.

She spoke. In front of hundreds of people she spoke. She spoke of her loving mother who was beautiful and fun and the best Mum ever. She spoke about how she'd help her two sisters, aged 4 and 2 to not only grow up as good girls but also to remember their mother.

No-one mentioned that our friend was a hero for battling cancer, or was a world leader in something or that she was a beacon of light in a dark society. They just mentioned that she always smiled, was fun to be around and was a great mother.

I guess the truth hurts the most.


kthanxbai :-(

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Cairo - what a pile of rubbish

The genius minds in Cairo decided to stop the H1N1 virus, aka Swine Flu, by killing all of the pigs in the city boundaries. I guess its akin to the logic of killing off all of the local human population as that too would stop the spread of the virus.

What was not taken into account is that the pigs in the area ate the tons of organic rubbish thrown out by the dynamic and evolving population.

Ramadan Hediya, 35, who makes deliveries for a supermarket, lives in Madinat el Salam, a low-income community on the outskirts of Cairo.

“The whole area is trash,” Mr. Hediya said. “All the pathways are full of trash. When you open up your window to breathe, you find garbage heaps on the ground.”

What started out as an impulsive response to the swine flu threat has turned into a social, environmental and political problem for the Arab world’s most populous nation.

New York Times, 19/9/09

The article continues;

It has exposed the failings of a government where the power is concentrated at the top, where decisions are often carried out with little consideration for their consequences and where follow-up is often nonexistent, according to social commentators and government officials.

View from Cairo TowerImage via Wikipedia

“The main problem in Egypt is follow-up,” said Sabir Abdel Aziz Galal, chief of the infectious disease department at the Ministry of Agriculture. “A decision is taken, there is follow-up for a period of time, but after that, they get busy with something else and forget about it. This is the case with everything.”


Its a very interesting article that combines government ineptitude, paranoia and environmentalism.


kthanxbai!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Redneck Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, an Arkansas couple decided that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So her husband went to his veterinarian and told him that his cousin didn't want to have anymore children. His doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it and put it in a beer can, then hold it can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Arkansas man said to the doctor "I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear and counting to 10 is gonna help me." "Trust me" said the doctor. So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held it up to his ear and began to count:

"1"

"2"

"3"

"4"

"5"

At which point he paused, placed the can between his legs and resumed counting on the other hand.





Thanks to Throw The Ball Already

kthanxbai!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pernod genitals indeed

Pernod genitals indeed.So my third highest key-phrase for this blog is 'pernod genitals'. And yet I don't remember writing that blog - I guess I must be drinking too much.


USDA Food PyramidImage via Wikipedia




kthanxbai!
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Disco tune saves man's life

Debra Bader was taking a walk in the woods with her 53-year-old husband one morning when suddenly he collapsed. At first she thought the situation was hopeless
Debra Bader was prompted to perform CRP on her husband, Christopher, after recalling a public service ad.

"I looked at him and said, 'He's dead,' because he wasn't moving or making any sounds at all," Bader remembers. "But I pulled the cell phone out of his pocket and called 911, and then a public service announcement I'd heard on the radio popped into my head."

The one-minute PSA from the American Heart Association instructed listeners, in the event of cardiac arrest, to perform chest compressions very hard to the beat of the 1970s Bee Gees song "Staying Alive.

Bader says doctors at the hospital where her husband was treated have an alternative song. "They told me they do CPR to 'Another One Bites the Dust,' which also has about 100 beats per minute," Bader says. "Doctors have kind of a dark sense of humor."

So does Bader like the song "Stayin' Alive"?
"I do now," she says
Hat tip to totwtytr

kthanxbai!
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