For my (big) sister

As you can imagine from reading my post 'I beat my wife to get healthy', my one and only sister, who happens to be older than me, was not the happiest, fluffiest bunny on the planet. In fact she handed me my ass on a plate.

SORRY FOR CALLING YOU OBESE!!

Image via Wikipedia

Map showing prevalence of obesity in the United States. Rates are according to the CDC.

I would also like to apologize to myself for that posting as I thought I'd be getting more comments with a title that starts 'I beat my wife'.




I recently read a blog posting by The Old Plod of Plympton about religious tolerance. In the posting the blogger had an article by Ben Stein in December 2005 which I found very interesting. In an apology to my delightful, feather-like sister who is a mere wisp of an essence where 'ere she goes... here it is:

Image via Wikipedia

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my beating heart:

I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is, either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are. Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad.

Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

Direct copy and paste from Ben Stein's website, www.benstein.com/121805xmas.html

I'm off to start buying presents for my family for Hanukah - enjoy your shopping too.

kthanxbai!

Facebook Alibi Saves Jailed Teenager

Over on Sky News (aka Fox in a British accent) there is a charming story about a teenager who is jailed for a crime but has a Facebook entry as his alibi;

Rodney Bradford spent 12 days in prison after being arrested on suspicion of holding up two people close to his home in Brooklyn.

Image via CrunchBase

But the 19-year-old was eventually released after an update on the social networking site placed him at his father's flat across town in Harlem.

The whole article can be found here

And what kind of update did the young bastion of society send?

'Rodney Bradford is'....

upset at world hunger
going out with the guys
lol-ing at Glee

No, Rodney Bradford's jail breaking message on Facebook was 'where my IHop?'. The message was intended for his pregnant girlfriend who he hoped would cook him breakfast.

Image via Wikipedia

For that alone I would throw him back in the slammer! Too lazy to make your own breakfast, but up and about and faffing around on Facebook? 21 days your honor!!

kthanxbai!

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I beat my wife to get healthy

My sister and I are fighters.

As kids, whenever someone attacked either of us we would back each other to the hilt. When there was no-one else to battle we fought amongst ourselves, also, in a very energetic way. Its only my sister and I, although we did have a dog for a good many years, we are very close and there are many similarities between us (my sister and I, not the dog and I).

In fact when my sister and I chat to each other, even in front of our parents, we speak so fast and in such an Essex accent that no-one can understand us.

We also have something else in common - obesity. I haven't seen my sister in a few months but I do know that we are both on the heavy side.

She has 7 kids and a husband to clean up after, runs a community center and helps out at a variety of charities as often as she can. This leaves her very little time to look after herself.

Me? I like eating chocolate and have an aversion to sport.

Back in April I started using my trusty pedometer, in fact its the Omron Walking Style II (below) and I recommend it to everyone.
A pedometer measures the amount of steps you take whilst wearing it. Different health organisations agree that taking over 10,000 steps a day is highly beneficial to your health. My sister has yet to purchase a pedometer but hopefully after this little blog she will do so.

Mrs. Jumblerant recently bought a pedometer, exactly the same as mine, and challenged me to an interesting competition. Whoever has the most paces at the end of each day gets to stay in bed in the morning when our 8 month old baby boy wakes up! My kind of challenge.

In the last 3 days I have beaten her 3 times.

To add to the fun I also picked up on a challenge by fellow blogger Treppenwitz to his readers to log their steps, for free, at Walker Tracker. I have a rather green widget near the top of this blog if you want to go there and have a look.


Anyway, its a no frills competition normally. I even started 2 competitions this month in an effort to get back into walking myself thin. The winner gets bragging rights or something of an equal value, but it means that there are people out there helping you to walk more paces, push a bit harder and get a little bit healthier each day.

And that can't be a bad thing.

kthanxbai!

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Rude. Crude. Lewd.

I can honestly say that if you like sarcasm, rude jokes and a British accent then Jimmy Carr is the comedian for you.

Image by chase-me via Flickr

I was feeling a bit under the weather earlier so decided to treat myself to a viewing of 'Jimmy Carr, Telling Jokes' and boy did I laugh.

Painfully funny.

But it ain't for the kiddies so keep them away. A long way away.

kthanxbai!

ohh please

A friend of mine is the star of a new video on YouTube, produced by a real advertising company.

He'll be the first to say that the video is nothing to write home about, he is just breaking into the acting market here - but I like him and it is a funny video - so here you are:

Enjoy!



kthanxbai!

Fort Hood - details emerge

Spook 86 at In From the Cold has a very interesting piece about the killer in the murders this morning at Fort Hood.

I strongly suggest you go here and read it.


Above: Fort Hood in better days.

Tam, over at View From The Porch asks why more military personnel, in Texas of all places, weren't armed on their base. Go here and read her blog too.

This Ain't Hell But You Can See It From Here has a round-up of all the important news sources and their theories on why it happened as well as the all important Dr Phil and others on Larry King. And, of course, they have their own, highly plausible, theory too. And that's available if you click right here.

kthanxbai!

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The Making of an American Soldier

Neptunus Lex links to an in-depth photo essay from the Denver Post following one Ian Fisher from home, to Iraq and back again.





Go here to see the complete series. Definitely worth a viewing.

kthanxbai!

Pictures of an 18 year old model

Now that I have your attention, please vote for me at the 2009 Weblog Awards. I'm assuming I won't win but I do like a challenge!!

I'm entering myself in the category of Best Individual Blogger

Below is the info you need to copy and paste on the Nomination Website

Jumblerant
http://jumblerant.blogspot.com/
http://feeds2.feedburner.com/Jumblerant


And here are the pictures of that 18 year old model railway I promised you in the title:





kthanxbai!

Put your ears back and listen

Medic Matthew over at New Life Changes put this video from YouTube our way. And I liked it so much I thought I'd share it.

Pomplamoose Music's cover of Beyonce's 'Single Ladies'

Pay particular attention to the lyrics at approximately the 2 minute mark

Enjoy.



kthanxbai!

One versus many

Makes you think eh?

I saw this on Sharp as a Marble and he first saw it here.


kthanxbai!

Why I don't use twitter

As twitter takes over the world and His Amazingness Stephen Fry takes twits seriously, please click on the link below to understand why I am currently an untwitterer.

Image via Wikipedia

Slight swearing but we're all adults here aren't we?
Seriously, aren't we? The Bloggess - Twitter will molest you

kthanxbai!

A mix of two loves

That title sounds a bit naughty doesn't it? I think I'll leave it there to raise the number of visitors to the blog from Google.

Image via Wikipedia

Anyway, with the Formula 1 season now over and the last Grand Prix watched, analyzed and misanalysed I thought I'd share with you two things I love: Fry & Laurie and Auto Racing. Like oil and water mixed in a puddle they show a myriad of color .. blah blah blah

Enjoy the sketch



kthanxbai!

USS New York goes home

The new Navy assault ship USS New York, built with World Trade Center steel, arrived in its namesake city Monday with a 21-gun salute near the site of the 2001 terrorist attack.


The USS New York was discussed on this very blog just 2 weeks ago: Going Home.

Just saying.

kthanxbai!

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Drive I Swear

As I mentioned in a previous post, the first real rains of the season began yesterday. So here are a few rules for your delectation;

+ If you slow down to 20 km/h because of the rain I will gesticulate at you. Now get out of my way.

+ If you slow down to 20 km/h because of the rain and continue to hold the phone in your hand and talk into it I will gesticulate at you and insult your parentage. Now get out of my way.

Image via Wikipedia

+ Look at the road in front of you. If it looks like puddles then slow down. The odds are that your car weighs more than a bag of hot air and so in a Vehicle v. Puddle fight, don't worry, you WILL win. Now get out of my way.

+ If you do not think that lit headlights are a required addition to driving in stormy conditions I will flash my lights at you. I will also gesticulate and debate your parentage. Its not about you seeing the road, its about other drivers, and pedestrians, seeing you.

+ Driving with one armed draped over the passenger seat is never a good idea. If you do so whilst it rains heavily, and you're talking on the phone, and you have a cigarette in the same hand as your phone and you're undertaking someone I will do nothing.
I will do nothing because I'll be busy phoning the Police because you're a Caulking Font (rearranged for the faint of heart).
You may be suicidal but I like my life right now so I'll do my utmost to get you off the roads.

+ Everyone else? Yeah, you're good.

Thus endeth the rant.

kthanxbai!

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Odd goings on at the UN

The Austrian Police believe that the death of a British nuclear expert who fell from the 17th floor of a United Nations building is not suspicious, and this article explains why.

Image via Wikipedia

Timothy Hampton, 47, a scientist involved in monitoring nuclear activity, was found dead last week at the bottom of a stairwell in Vienna.

An initial autopsy concluded that there were ‘no suspicious circumstances’. But it is understood that Mr Hampton’s widow Olena Gryshcuk and her family were deeply unhappy with that verdict.

So like any loving wife she ordered another autopsy, not under the authority of the local police.

...a doctor who undertook a second post-mortem examination on behalf of the family believes she has found evidence that Mr Hampton did not die by his own hands.

... she said one possible theory was that Mr Hampton was carried to the 17th floor from his workplace on the sixth floor and thrown to his death.

Professor Yen used new forensic techniques to detect internal bruising caused by strangulation which would not be visible to the eye.

She said: ‘In my opinion, it does not look like suicide. My example is that somebody took him up to the top floor and took him down.

Funny that, because at the end of the article there is a little notelet about a similar 'non-suicide' by an American:

Under a year ago, an American died at the IAEA in strikingly similar circumstances, his body being found at the bottom of a stairwell.

A UN spokeswoman said an investigation into that case continues, though Austrian police have concluded it was suicide.

She said: ‘This might have been a copycat thing in the CTBTO.’

As Iran and Friends are coming under pressure to toe the line with their Nuclear weaponry and North Korea keep showing off their nuclear arsenal this happens. And it doesn't make headline news?

Curiouser and curiouser.

Make up your own mind! The Daily Mail original article can be found here.

kthanxbai!

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Random Thoughts part deux

We had the first heavy rains of the winter on Friday so I was going to rant about how cars aren't made of paper and at over a tonne a piece, can quite happily go through a puddle or two - thinking that goes against what most of my fellow countrymen believe.

Our Friday night guests canceled on us because of the weather so now Mrs J (aka 'Her Indoors) now have 2 chickens, a half kilo of rice and a whole chocolate mousse to get through. And I was going to rant about that too but going through a chocolate mousse really isn't a bad thing!?!

And then I started going through the blogs I follow on Google Reader and came across a few things you might find interesting, just not finger licking good!


At Random Acts of PatriotismASM 826 posted this fund raising blog:

Semper Fi

All we need is the will and the vision. We have the finest trained, best equipped military in the history of the world.

The music in this video can be purchased from iTunes, profits to support the men and women of the Armed Forces. Details here.

Wars may be fought with weapons, but they are won by men.
--General George Patton Jr.

And for Firefly / Serenity fans like myself SigBoy's posting about the TV show 'Castle' made me smile:







kthanxbai!

So true, so true!

More available at xkcd

kthanxbai!

Danger in bed

I just saw on the Crappy News Network that a drunk driver smashed his car into a house, pinning 2 people in their bed.

I assumed (dah!) that they were talking about someone living in a basement or cellar but look at the photo, below;

Yes, thats right, they live in a normally situated building, however trailer-like it may look.

Somehow the car flew into the wall approximately 2 meters above ground level! There don't seem to be any conveniently parked ramps or cardboard boxes around. . . any ideas?


kthanxbai!

Surviving the world

After my post yesterday on The Men Who Stare at Goats, the blog Surviving the World explains just how true to real life these films generally are;



And they go on to give some sage advice.



Go over to their site to see today's lesson on surviving the world.

kthanxbai!

Crazy looking film

I saw the preview of this film over at Soldier Systems where they are celebrating their 1,000th post! Mazel tov.



This film looks pretty 'off-beat' and yet I was still strangely drawn to it.

Ewan McGregor via last.fm

The scenario looks odd but they keep going on about how it is based on a true story.

And it has Ewan McGregor, and George Clooney, and then Jeff Bridges sashays in! And if that cast wasn't good enough for you, Kevin Spacey joins in too!!

Watch the trailer and see if you agree.


kthanxbai!

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